Raeann Downloaded a Sex Positive Dating App

Here’s what happened. A few months ago, Raeann’s friend told her about this app. It’s called feeld, and it focuses on establishing connections based on your sexual desires in the “spirit of openness and experimentation.” Because she’s someone who approaches things with an open and curious mindset, she downloaded it and made a profile. Find out in this episode how she ended up having “a more positive experience” than other dating apps, got out of her comfort zone, and learned how to be up front with her expectations sooner in her dating life. P.S. This one might make you blush.

“The theme of my profile is vanilla. I’m not trying to be anything that I’m not.” - Raeann

What we talk about:

  • A pattern Raeann has noticed in her dating life 

  • What Kristina’s loving about rediscovering play through motherhood

  • How Rae’s views on sex have evolved over time

  • Raeann reads examples of different types of profiles on the app and her own profile

  • What has happened on dates with men she met on the app

  • What she has learned about her own sexual desires and needs before having sex through this experience

  • Ask away: Am I rude AF to my significant other?

“What I've learned is that they might be on to something with having these conversations earlier on. It does tell you a lot about a person outside of even sexual things: how they can communicate, how open they are, how they are able to compromise. It’s just wild to have these conversations I’d never traditionally have on the first date.” - Raeann

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

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Confidence in the Bedroom with Raquel Savage

Raquel is a therapist, educator, sex worker, podcaster who teaches you everything from giving a good blow job to overcoming sexual trauma. Raquel joins us to talk about how to have more confidence in the bedroom. We tackle how to set boundaries, speak up for yourself, know your inherent worth outside of what men think, overcoming insecurities by understanding fat phobia, the difference between feeling sexy versus sexual, how finding your own identity separate from your partner can spice up sex, how our upbringing affects how we view sex and so much more. Raquel truly gives incredible, accessible advice that will help you feel empowered and relieve the pressure we as women put on ourselves.

“The beginning place for people who are struggling with how they feel about their body and wanting to work through that is first naming and learning about fat phobia: how it shows up in our culture, in your family, and how you’ve internalized it. It’s damn near impossible to move through anything with your body if you're not recognizing the system which informs it.” - Raquel Savage

What we talk about:

  • The importance of surrounding yourself with people who you relate to when it comes to building body confidence and unlearning societal programming

  • How detrimental it is to relate our value to how attractive we are to men

  • Educating yourself on fat phobia

  • Importance of setting boundaries and speaking up for yourself with your partners when talking about STIs or wearing a condom

  • How finding your own identity separate from your partner can spice up sex

  • Ask away: What to say to a friend when they are fat shaming themselves

“I’m not even aiming to be sexy anymore. I’m aiming to be alive, and to move my body and to smell good, and to eat things that make me feel really divine, and to do things with my body that make me feel joy.” - Raquel Savage

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

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11 Lessons from Kristina's 11 Year Relationship

Kristina has been with Steve for 11 years, and has learned a lot throughout their relationship. From being 22 dealing with insecurities to moving across the country to start a new life together and then starting a family, Kristina has valuable insight to share about how to have a happy, long-lasting relationship.

It’s important to remember that no one’s relationship is perfect and not to compare yourself or your relationship to anyone else’s (even Kristina and Steve’s.) We hope this information gives you a new perspective on what you should look for in a partner and what to prioritize in a relationship for it to be the most healthy, loving and fulfilling it can be. At the very least, we hope you feel seen, understood and less alone with the challenges and learnings within your relationship.

“A guy who cares about you is not trying to put you through the ringer, he’s not trying to play games, he’s going to make the effort. He’s going to text you and thank you for a good night out. You shouldn’t have to guess if someone’s into you and if you’re questioning it, he’s probably not.” - Kristina

What Kristina talks about:

  • How to know if a guy is really into you 

  • What not to do in relationships/a hurdle they had to overcome in the beginning

  • What’s truly important in a relationship

  • How having kids affects a relationship

  • Being intentional with who you talk to about your relationship

  • Advice for dealing with extended family dynamics 

  • Dangers of unrealistic expectations and comparison 

  • Not being thrown off by different seasons and phases of your relationship

  • Ask away segment: How to tell a friend they’re not in your wedding

“Sometimes seasons of sadness or anger feel so much longer than seasons of happiness and excitement. It’s important to reflect on your relationship as a whole, and not let those frustrating moments be bigger than they are or overshadow all the beautiful moments you have together.”  - Kristina

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources: