Are You Adopting Other People’s Insecurities?

Have you ever had lunch with a friend who kept talking about her weight and diet, and then you started to question your lunch order and weight and diet? Sometimes we adopt others’ insecurities and don’t even realize it. A pivotal part of our confidence journeys has been realizing when we’ve taken on others’ insecurities as our own. Today we’re sharing stories from throughout our lives where our confidence was challenged because of other people’s opinions and insecurities, and how we persevered to protect and practice our own self confidence. At the end of this episode we’ll share tangible tips to help you if you’ve found yourself in similar situations.

“We're not programmed to feel negatively about ourselves, we are influenced to feel negatively about our bodies.” - Raeann

What we talk about:

  • A learning Kristina had about toxic weight loss culture 

  • What Raeann has learned in therapy so far

  • How other people’s insecurities effect:

    • Body image and weight

    • Career moves

    • Having kids

    • Relationships

  • How to find your core values and get to know yourself better

  • How to tell someone how you feel and set boundaries

  • How our family culture influences confidence and insecurities

  • Surrounding yourself with the right people

  • Practicing gratitude and mindfulness

  • How to clarify your wants and desires

  • Ask Away: Tips for not comparing your timeline to others’ 

“Something I've had to work through in therapy is that so many of these insecurities are not actually my own, they’re coming from other people.” - Kristina

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

Boost Your Dating Confidence

When it comes to modern dating, everyone is looking for the best advice on how to find love. Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick, co-hosts of the Dateable podcast, join us to discuss the most important dating advice you need to know. Julie and Yue were active daters turned dating sociologists who talk to experts and daters about what’s working in our modern dating world. In this episode, Julie and Yue give advice and feedback from relationship scenarios submitted by our listeners. We also talk about what to do when you experience dating burnout, how to use dating apps intentionally, how playing games interrupts the real dating experience and maintaining confidence while dating. Make sure to subscribe to their podcast if you loved what you heard for more insight. Plus, you might hear yours truly in a future episode. We can’t wait to hear what you think!

“It’s better to communicate what you want rather than creating rules in your head.” - Yue

“The best thing you can do is find someone who wants the same things you do.” - Julie

What we talk about:

  • What successful relationships have in common

  • How to shift your mindset when you’re feeling like you’re “no one’s cup of tea”

  • What to do when you experience dating burnout

  • How to use dating apps intentionally

  • How the ego gets involved in dating

  • Their take on being on the same page about kids before getting into the relationship

  • Communication tips

  • “Relationship chicken” and how it’s the biggest problem in dating

“You have to make your own rules and be yourself because you want to live your life with someone where you can be your full authentic self.” - Raeann

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources:

Ask Away Part 3: How to Recover from Heartbreak, Support New Moms, Talk to Your Doctor About Weight and Practice Self-Love

Kristina and Raeann are answering your questions in today’s episode and sharing raw and honest emotions about what’s been going on in their lives behind the scenes. Raeann opens up about struggling lately with the sadness of heartbreak. Whether you’ve recently experienced a break up or are still dealing with emotions from past relationships, we’re here to remind you that it’s okay to be sad when you lose something you love. But we’re also sharing our tips for moving on, focusing on yourself and appreciating where you are now. We also get Kristina’s perspective on what you can do for a friend who is a new mom to support her, talk about what to do if your doctor suggests you should lose weight, and share our daily practices for self-love.

“Sometimes you have to sit in sadness and accept how you’re feeling and know that even though there are brighter days ahead, it's okay to be sad.” - Kristina

What we talk about:

  • How to stop judging women based on their appearance 

  • What to do if your long-term boyfriend hasn’t proposed yet

  • Can exes be friends?

  • Daily tasks to build self love

  • How to support a friend who’s a new mom

  • What to say if/when a doctor fat shames you and how to advocate for yourself

  • Leaving a long term relationship

“Oftentimes, when you feel triggered, you need to look within yourself. It's your insecurities that are feeding these thoughts. The more you build confidence in yourself and your worth, the less you’ll think about other women.” - Raeann

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources: