The Power of Self-Pleasure

Do you know what your body likes and desires? Do you want connect more intimately with your partner, or just feel more confident saying what you want? We all deserve to feel empowered in our sex life. Today’s guest is an expert in the sexual wellness space and is about to teach you how to experience more pleasure and feel more connected to your body. 

Kiana Reeves is an educator, practitioner, speaker, and leading voice in the sexual wellness movement. Her approach is wholistic and includes the emotional, biological, social, and spiritual nature of sex & intimacy. Her work in this field ultimately led her to join Foria as Chief Content Officer, where she has helped grow and shape the sexual wellness brand over the last five years.

In this episode, Kiana explains how masturbating really is self care, beneficial from a health perspective and can improve your overall sex life. We cover the science behind orgasms, how to experience more pleasure, and how to communicate your desires with your partner. We also talk about removing shame from the equation when it comes to sex, and embracing vulnerability. Whether you already feel sexually empowered or don’t even know where to start, we know this conversation will inspire you to try something new & have a better sex life.

“Masturbation and orgasms can boost your immune system, it can support your sleep, it’s really good at resetting your response to stress and lowering cortisol. When you orgasm and when you’re touching your body or masturbating, experiencing pleasure, you’re releasing dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. All of those chemical cocktails really play a role in feeling powerful, creative and connected.” Kiana Reeves


What we talk about:

  • Our Thanksgiving plans

  • Raeann’s latest date story

  • The activity that’s changing Kristina’s life for the better right now

  • Feeling FOMO from social media

  • Is dating in NYC better than in LA?

  • Thoughts on the recent season of Love Is Blind 

  • Viewing masturbation as self care

  • How masturbating impacts your sex life with a partner

  • The science behind the positive effects and health benefits of self pleasure

  • How to be more comfortable with masturbating

  • Addressing the shame around self-pleasure 

  • Embodiment practices for self-pleasure

  • Kiana’s recommendations for beginner tools and toys

  • Destigmatizing the use of lube

  • The pressure we put on sexual performance

  • What impacts our arousal and sexual pleasure physiologically

  • Can using a vibrator “too much” be a negative thing?

  • How to get out of your head during sex

  • How to have the best or multiple orgasms

  • Tips for talking to your partner about sex

  • How and when to communicate what you want with your partner

  • Ask Away: Is it okay to not have a “wild phase”?


“To destigmatize the use of lube: When you introduce lube, research shows that all parties experience more pleasure.” - Kiana Reeves

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

“When you expand your pleasure capacity and pathways, what’s possible in your body alone really impacts what’s possible in your body with a partner.” - Kiana Reeves

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Being Thin Isn't the Goal

Diet culture and thin-praising has been highlighted in news articles, entertainment and culture a lot lately, and we know how harmful these messages can be. If you’re struggling with comparison, or the pressure to be thinner or lose weight before going home for the holidays, hit play on this episode to reframe your mindset on what will really help you feel more confident, and remind yourself that your worth is not tied to your weight. If you’re being influenced by negative comments or people around you that believe being thin or losing weight is the answer to your problems, you have the power to change the conversation. And we’ve got your back.

“I don't have a goal to dress to look thinner. I have a goal to wear things that make me feel confident, feel cool or inspire me in some way. That’s something we have to remind ourselves: you don’t have to dress to look thinner. You don’t have to workout to lose weight.” - Kristina

What we talk about:

  • Raeann’s first week in NYC recap

  • THE BEST event Kristina has been to with Knix and Ashley Graham

  • Why the New York Post article mentioning “heroin chic” is so harmful

  • Body types as “trends”

  • How the Kardashian’s body types have changed and how that influences culture

  • The responsibility influencers have to be transparent around weight loss

  • Our confidence during times we were more thin than we are now

  • Figuring out why you want to lose weight

  • Setting an example for those around you by standing up for yourself

  • How to keep people in your life from impacting your body confidence

  • Ask Away: How do I deal with wedding diet or weight loss pressure from my family when I actually feel really confident in my body?


“During that time in my life I could not have felt worse about myself. I thought I was the biggest human being to walk the earth. I’m 30 pounds heavier now and I'm so much more confident. Losing weight will not make you happier in your body if you're not doing it for the right reason and if you’re doing it for outside validation.” - Raeann

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

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How to Confidently Make a Career Switch in Your 20s

Have you ever dreamed about working for yourself but don’t know how or have the confidence to actually do it? Today’s guest, Adriana Parente, went from working in a corporate setting to having her own clients as a freelance influencer marketing specialist and brand consultant in her 20s, and is sharing her advice for how she made the switch in this episode. We talk about how to know when it’s time to take the leap to work for yourself, how to stay on track and motivated, tips for budgeting and sending invoices, how to set your pricing and everything you would want to know if you’ve thought about making this transition.


“Working for other people is rewarding, you learn so much, but I always felt that I wanted something to be my own and all the efforts for the projects I've been working on to be my own.” - Adriana Parente


What we talk about:

  • Our post live show thoughts, feelings and favorite parts

  • What people thought of Raeann’s live date with Roberto and what happened behind the scenes

  • What the deal was with that creepy guy in the audience

  • How Raeann’s first week in NYC is going

  • How Kristina’s 3 weeks in New Jersey went

  • The show Kristina’s obsessed with

  • Raeann’s new workout plan

  • How to know you want to work for yourself

  • How Adriana made connections and pitched herself to brands at the beginning

  • How to not get discouraged by the process of applying for jobs

  • The importance of saving and being strategic in taking risks

  • What a successful pitch and follow up looks like

  • Tips for how to stay motivated & organized when working for yourself

  • How to figure out rates and how to have that conversation with clients 

  • What to do if a client doesn’t pay you or pay you on time

  • Overcoming imposter syndrome

  • Advice for people wanting to go out on their own

  • Ask Away: “My upstairs neighbors are having really loud sex at all hours of the day. What should I do?!”


“The most important thing is trusting and believing in yourself, and when you do that, everyone else will too.” - Kristina Zias


“Grow your skills and prove to yourself that you have them, then that will help you build your confidence to pitch yourself out to brands.” - Adriana Parente

New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.

Resources: