126. Exposing Our Toxic Traits

Constantly losing things? Unfortunately. Always thinking someone is either mad at or obsessed with us? Most likely. Thinking that money is no object at the airport? Guilty. In this episode, we’re exposing all of our toxic traits and share some top offenders submitted by listeners. In summary, we're all toxic AF. To be honest, we have no desire to change our toxic traits. It's fun to laugh at ourselves, so let’s accept them and keep doing what we're doing, okay?

Plus, Kristina shares some exciting family news and updates us on if she is planning on moving to the east coast. Raeann gives Kristina reasons why moving to NYC could have a positive impact on her career, shares an update about how she’s thriving in the city, and we talk about our current obscure Tik Tok holes. 

“Another really bad toxic trade of mine is how often I lose things.” - Kristina

“My top toxic trait is thinking everyone’s in love with me.” - Raeann

We also talk about:

  • How rude it is that our partners can’t read our minds

  • Zillowing our friend’s homes

  • Returns are the worst

  • People whose phone is constantly dead or dying

  • Always needing a treat when we leave the house

  • Bad Bunny and Kendall Jenner

  • How long it takes us to get ready

Kristina: “This is someone's toxic trait in his mind as well: My phone is always about to die.”

Raeann: “That is a toxic trait about people that really annoys me. How was your phone always dying? Do you not have a charger? This is 2023.” 

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125. Sober Curious? Olivia Noceda’s Advice for Navigating Relationships & an Alcohol-Free Lifestyle

We’re sure you already know and love today’s guest, Olivia Noceda! Olivia has had an alcohol-free lifestyle for the past 15 months, so we invited her on the podcast to share her experience and to explore the concept of sober curiosity. We discuss the similarities between the sober curious movement and diet culture, the red flags to be aware of, the correlation between alcohol and hookup culture, and how to navigate dating while sober curious. 

Raeann and Kristina both open up about their own relationships with alcohol and share real-time reflections about why they drink. As Raeann has recently experienced, living in a drinking culture like NYC can be challenging for those who are exploring an alcohol-free lifestyle, so Olivia shares some great tips for going out and feeling more comfortable not drinking. We also delve into the potential effects on friendships and relationships and provide advice for those who want to stop drinking but are worried about the impact it could have on their social life.

Join us for this enlightening, honest conversation as we explore the growing cultural shift towards sober curiosity and the importance of asking ourselves how alcohol does or doesn’t serve us in this phase of life. Regardless of what you choose, remember to always do what’s best for you, and that trusting yourself is loving yourself. P.S. Don’t forget to head to Olivia’s website and Instagram to try out some of her delicious mocktail recipes!


“The questions I started asking myself were; how does alcohol serve me? What is it to me in my life and what is my relationship with it? With no judgment, I'm not judging myself, I just want to know what it is. And very simply, I had nothing good to say about it. I just started to realize that there was nothing really positive that it was bringing into my life.” - Olivia Noceda


What We Talk About:

  • What does “sober curious” mean?

  • Why Olivia explored sober curiosity to begin with

  • Similarities between sober curiosity and diet culture

  • Questions to ask yourself if you’re starting to become sober curious

  • Tips for living in a drinking culture like NYC while sober curious

  • Navigating dating while sober curious

  • Kristina’s reflections on her relationship with alcohol

  • Why Raeann feels influenced to drink more than she’d like to

  • How cultural influences play a role in our relationship with alcohol

  • Signs alcohol may be a problem for you

  • Why there’s a culture shift towards sober curiosity right now

  • Advice for people who want to stop drinking alcohol but are worried about how it will affect friendships and relationships

  • The correlation between alcohol and hookup culture

  • Tips for going out and feeling more comfortable not drinking


“I feel there's obviously a lot of judgment for people who don't drink, but I also feel like there's a lot of people who don't drink who judge those that do. We all need to have a little bit more fair play and more respect for everyone's life choices, no matter what they are.” - Kristina Zias


“When you are following what you desire and what you are interested in and bettering your life, you're basically weeding out people who aren't aligned with your values and your mission. And that's just going to be better for you in the long run. So in the short term, it can be scary, but I think you have to look ahead to the long, long term goal. - Raeann Langas


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124. Shit Men Say

The audacity! We’re laughing but it’s actually ridiculous, the shit men say. And honestly, no one gets more random, crazy shit said to them than us. We’re sharing personal stories about the most insane things men have said to us; from commenting on our size, to the way we walk, to how our eyes look. Then, we share some of the most unhinged things our TCC listeners have heard from men. We can’t imagine what’s going through their minds to make these comments, but they sure as hell have made for funny stories. Whether they don’t know how ridiculous they sound or simply don’t care, let’s take this opportunity to collectively call them out on their BS.

“I think one of the most ridiculous things that someone said to me was when I was walking into Gelson's, which is a grocery store in LA, the security guard goes, ‘Damn girl, you walking like you’re about to fuck somebody up.’ And I was like, excuse me?” - Kristina

What We Talk About:

  • How Raeann’s move-in process is going

  • What life’s like for Kristina now as a mom of 2

  • Confessions of a breastfeeding mama

  • What’s really impeding on Raeann’s vibe in NYC

  • Kristina’s hair dilemma

  • Crazy shit men have said to us

  • Crazy shit men have said to YOU


“The amount of times I've been stopped on the street by random men, just so they can call me big, I can't even keep track.” - Raeann


New podcast episodes of Confident Collective drop every Tuesday.


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